Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
