Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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