I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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