I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
