Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
