my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
