when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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