i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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