we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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