love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
