If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
