bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You can't just leave with hair like that
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
