good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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