omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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