Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize