Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize