My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
