What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
