it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
