I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
