apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just googled if crying burns calories
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
