we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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