She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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