what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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