In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
