I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
