It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
