Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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