Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
