I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
