why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
