New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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