I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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