She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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