it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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