The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
So squirting runs in the family.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
