Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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