if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
