Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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