is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
