I bet he comes in French.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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