And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
