I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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