bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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