we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize