He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
