I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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