ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
