i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
