The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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