I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize