I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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