You're a womanizer and a bitch.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
