you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
