Soap is not a condiment
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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