so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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