This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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