I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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