hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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