It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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