Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
