How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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