I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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