brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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