I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
