dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
