We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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