Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
