her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
