my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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