I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He did a backflip because drugs
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